Our next letter is from Flounderin Foe, who needs to learn what a period is:
so i may or may not havve a quadrant query
but wwhat do you do wwhen you havve black feelins for someone and they clearly hate you but just dont wwant to admit it
because theres this guy and hes alwways givvin me mixed signals
like hes alwways sayin that heth tho dithguthted with me
and disgust is clearly some kinda synonym for hate but wwhenevver i tell him he hates me and i hate him and so wwe should clearly be together he alwways denies it
so wwhat do i do is i guess wwhat im askin
Karkat, I feel you are in fact best suited to advising this listener.
RIGHT, LET THE PROS HANDLE THIS ONE.
OUR NEXT QUESTION WAS ACQUIRED WHEN IT TOOK THE FORM OF A PAPER PLANE AND HIT ME IN THE BACK OF MY gargantuan HEAD IN PHILOSOPHY:
Is there something wrong with me if I freak out when a relationship gets remotely touchy feely? In general, with friends and family, I love hugs and cuddling but in each relationship I had so far, I had a most negative reaction whenever they try to touch me, like even the arm around waist/shoulder. It did not end too well and I’m wondering if this just my own inexperience and it’s something I need to get over, as that’s what people told me so far. Thank you!
Signed, Feeling Touchy
I DON’T sprinkles GET IT, BUT FROM THE LOOK ON LALONDE’S FACE SHE EITHER HAS A LOT TO SAY ABOUT THIS OR IS CONSTIPATED.
Your insight into the workings of my mind and bowels never ceases to amaze me, Vantas.
Regardless, there is indeed much to be said on the matter.
Actually Karkat It Is Time For An Advertisement Interlude
OH. IT’S 9:30 AM AND THIS IS QUADRANT QUERIES STREAMING NEURON BODYBUILDING SHAKES TO YOUR AURICULAR SPONGE CLOTS ON KSBRB.
The Church of the Mirthful Messiahs is hosting a nonalcoholic drinks mix contest next Wednesday at 4pm at the church. The lucre for ‘most miraculous drink’ is a $100 gift card to the campus bookstore and a case of grape Faygo. All other participants receive as many religious pamphlets as they want, printed on magnets.
That covers our announcements for the day, so let us continue with the queries, shall we?
I have pale feelings for somebody and they recipricate, but their Matesprit is quite jealous and thinks we may become flushed. This is totally not going to happen, but how can I reassure them that I only want this to be a Moirailship? Yours, Diurnally Confused
Ah The Classic Clashing Of Pale And Flushed Passions
One moment, what is about to occur may be relevant to my thesis. Allow me to fetch a notepad.
Concupiscent Conundrum writes,
I have recently become acquainted with a woman, whom I believe is perhaps the most extraordinarily pitiful creature I have ever encountered. Unfortunately, she is presently my kismesis’s moirail. Disrupting my blackrom in such a potentially final manner is hardly something I desire, but I can’t get her out of my thinkpan. What should I do?
THE ONLY THING WRONG WITH THIS SITUATION IS HOW SUCH A GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY HAS MANAGED TO FLY OVER YOUR HEAD LIKE THE KING OF SQUAWK-BEASTS.
Hello, and welcome back to another day of Quadrant Queries. As always, you are here with your hosts Rose Lalonde, Kanaya Maryam, and Karkat Vantas who, thanks to the forgiving nature of our faculty sponsor, remains a member of the team here.
Thank The Faculty Sponsor Karkat
GO eat chalk. YOU CAN’T SILENCE ME.
I, a human, have a close friendship with a troll. Recently, they have started acting very angry towards anybody I try to give or recieve advice. I assume they have pale feelings for me, but for humans such a relationship is not romantic. I do not want to lose their friendship, but I still would like to be able to help or get help from other friends as well. What should I do?
Your Faithful Listener
I believe you are correct in assuming that your friend has developed pale feelings for you.
AND I’M CORRECT IN ASSUMING YOUR FRIEND IS KIND OF A JEALOUS, MENTALLY DEFICIENT carpHOLE.
a friend of mine is unable to feel proper hate towards anybody but himself, so he keeps having these black flings, and he recently got really injured due to a particularly violent one. how can i help him?
It is almost as if they are speaking about you, isn’t it, Karkat?
SHUT THE ryebread UP THAT IS NOT ME.